The engagement with the mindflayers was decisive, though inelegant. In my altered state, I fought alongside the others. The discipline of the dance was enhanced by something more raw, a force I could neither master nor repel. Necessary for victory, but invasive and costly. When it broke and my form returned to its mortal limits, a sickness rose.
I was certain Yedan-Neric did not survive. I witnessed the frenzied creatures overtake him, the complete destruction of the contents of his mind. I retrieved the necklace as he requested. The portrait inside is of a beautiful woman, if he has family I will endeavor to return it. We gathered what evidence and supplies we could before making the return to Vellhum Heights.
Both Theodore and Marrion were visibly affected upon receiving Yedan’s remains. Theodore, lacking any knowledge of his burial preferences, conducted the rites in Sanctiforge manner. Efficient, if impersonal. We ought to have established such details when first were assigned. For myself, as after every Pruning, my body, when its use is ended, should be burned without words or ceremony. At death, the body’s relevance ceases.
Charles and I later checked on Marrion, who had withdrawn quickly following the rites. Her eyes were reddened from tears. I informed her truthfully that our earlier omissions were to protect her from potential danger, and that she is valued. While speaking, I noticed a folder labeled Permutational Dissidence on the floor near her desk and briefly pondered the meaning. Returning it produced no visible reaction, though her stoicism evoked the layered political maneuvering of the Great Game in Conscriptus. She extended an invitation for drinks. Charles declined, insisting the invitation was personal in nature. I disagreed.
En route, I encountered Mazarin, who also suggested the possibility of a romantic overture. I dismissed this as irrelevant. Marrion’s position and connections warrant closer study; this meeting was an opportunity for observation. Still, I cannot entirely dismiss the quality of her presence and personality.
Relying on a hazy connection created by an alcohol known as Greenbottle Reserve, I sought to glean information from her.
First, I glimpsed that something had made Marrion angry and vengeful in the past and knew some event involved her parents. Yet when I inquired directly, she insisted both were alive and well. She experienced the weight of Pruning; her horror was unmistakable. Few witness the true cost of what it means to be Katharis. In that moment, my desire to be understood and truly seen, surfaced unexpectedly, and I allowed my control to falter. To be known, in a way I rarely permit. In the haze of memories, I witnessed High Regent Quaid himself interrogating her on the corruption of the Oracle and the commencement of Block 252. She departed abruptly after this memory.
Today’s events represent a failure of internal discipline. For the first time, I feel the urge toward Pruning, to excise impulse and restore precision of purpose.
I control my body. No vestige of bloodline will command me.
I control my mind. No distraction will fracture my focus.
I control my actions. As drilled into me since childhood, I do not permit touch to breach my guard. I have been Pruned for such lapses in the heat of battle. To have allowed this unbidden closeness, and to desire it, is an error without justification.
Perfection or death. There is no third path.
People
Current Places
- The Sanctiforge
- The Shardlight District
- Vellum Heights
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